weekly notes no. 10 / how to enjoy a party

are you taking notes?

hi. how are you? i’m indoors and warm, it’s rainy outside.

i’m thinking about my tendency to view life in terms of making the “right” decision at different times. say i’m out with friends and i wind up hanging with a certain 3 people and not another 3 — there’s an opportunity there for me to yearn for the alternate timeline where i did the other thing. i wind up asking myself if i made the wrong choice, etc.

this came into focus because i was listening to the seth meyers and lonely island podcast. they were talking about the 50th anniversary snl after party, and how many talented/cool/famous people were there. they were expressing how sad it was that they couldn’t have talked to more people. i can so imagine that feeling. being at a party with all of these people you want to talk to, but having to acknowledge the fact that you can only hang out with so many folks in one night. the grief of that is beautiful. there is such an abundance of good stuff to do that your only recourse is to try to make the most of whatever’s in front of you. i really think there’s something there that would be valuable for me to take into the rest of my life.

but even though i can relate to that feeling, that is basically never how i approach a big party. my feelings tend to be more along the lines of where’s the booze/how do i leave this conversation/where are my friends. i’m usually in a pretty fearful state, especially considering how chill a party’s vibe is supposed to be.

this extreme example — a party filled with some of the funniest and most famous people alive — shows (i think accurately) how silly it is to approach life from a fearful place. the truth is, there are infinite possibilities of where to go and who to be and what to do (even if you aren’t with the most famous/funny people in the world), and so many of them are effectively equally good. it has so much more to do with how you approach it than what the thing is itself.

i want to view life as something that is full of so many good options. just everywhere. it’s not hard to do, either. it’s true. i feel that. it’s just a matter of taking a moment to notice it.

dang. i feel really unblocked. that was nice. til next time.